Only boring people get bored


GOD IS BORED OF YOU, originally uploaded by Tom Coates.

Hello! I am bored tonight. I am nice girl that would like to chat with you. Email me at ************ only, because I am using my friend’s email to write this. I will show you some of my private pictures

I have never understood this line of spam. The subject is typically "I saw your picture," and the content is as above with an email address. I haven’t been sufficiently curious — or bored — to click the link and respond. I get emails like this often enough that I have to assume they are successful in getting people to respond/click/pay.

The last two sentences seem pretty straightforward, and the middle sentence too. The exclamatory "Hello!" is also unsurprising.

It’s that second sentence that puzzles me. "I am bored tonight." Here are the options that I see:

  • People find bored girls appealing in some way.
  • People think that bored girls are more likely than interested girls to take off their clothes and folic, due to their boredom.

Neither option makes sense to me. Bored people are boring; they’re disaffected and disengaged from what’s around them. And surely interested girls would be more likely to try to entertain than bored girls would.

Obviously, I’m missing the point. Can anyone explain, please?

6 replies on “Only boring people get bored”

  1. I think the gist is that only somebody desperately bored would be interested in having webcam sex (or whatever it is that they’re selling) with the kind of person who is stupid and desperate enough to open this variety of spam message.

    And, yes, it’s a mystery to me how there can be enough stupid/desperate people in the e-mailable world to make this kind of spam worth even the minimal trouble of sending. It’s alarming, actually.

  2. I guess you’re right, but that indicates a whole lot of insecurity on the part of the spam recipient.

    If I were to write it, I’d write something more like the late night TV ads for “singles.” Like:

    “Hey! I want to have some fun! I just got a webcam and I want to chat with a nice guy. Email me at ************ only, because I am using my friend’s email to write this. I will show you some of my private pictures.”

    Wouldn’t that work better? Again, I’m probably not understanding the market.

  3. My dear, you are trying to apply logic (and appropriate use of the English language) where there is none…except the part about “I’ll show you my private parts” — or was that “private photos”. So hard to tell!

    Maybe this is a new business opportunity — the “How to Make Your Spam More Compelling” educational series.

  4. I don’t know — maybe the “I’m bored” verbiage sets off the “here’s a chick with low self-esteem” signals in your typical predatory creep’s head.

    Personally, I’m curious as to why the trend in my spam-box is towards come-ons for knock-off designer shoes. The next pair of designer shoes I own will be my first.

  5. First off, not sure why Susan had to leave a “better than you” type of comment…I hate it when people start out with “My dear” or anything like that unless it’s a love letter, so condescending.

    I agree that only boring people are bored all the time. I’ve encountered some people on Facebook where every 5th post is how bored they are which basically means they need constant stimulation fed to them and aren’t smart enough to mentally stimulate themselves. It’s a shame. Oh yeah, they overuse LOL way too much too. If they’re really LOL’ing that much I don’t think they’d be bored! lololololololololol

  6. BTHS, actually, Susan is very dear to me, and I read her comment not as “better than you” but as a light and humorous formality.

    My personal pet peeve is writers who frame an explanation with “You see….” Oh, that drives me nuts.

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