Explaining my links: Girls Are Pretty

In “Explaining My Links,” I briefly note the charms that draw me to sites that I list in the blogroll (to the right) but rarely link to in posts. Today’s winning entry: Girls Are Pretty.

It’s a non-standard blog, posting brief fictional bits on weekdays. The bits are often odd, sometimes stupid, occasionally perfect, often funny, usually unforgettable. For example: Wednesday, July 21, 2004, Trapped Under Boxes Day! (Due to a linking glitch, you’ll have to scroll down to find the right entry.)

Today, you’re stuck underneath some boxes. You tried to get to the box in the middle of the pile because you were pretty sure that the picture of your sweet little mother was in that box and you wanted to talk to it. But when you pulled that box out, your entire pile of boxes tumbled atop your head and pinned you to the ground.

You can’t breathe deep enough to shout for help. And you can’t talk to your mother’s picture anymore because every time you look into those eyes you can hear her shouting that you should turn yourself into the police for being gay. There is nothing to eat or drink and you have no friends who might stop by to find out why you won’t return any calls because, while you have a handful of friends, you only get a call for the group invites. Outside of those, all responsibility for staying in touch with your friends lands in your lap. You don’t talk to your neighbors either. There is a very good chance you’re going to die.

But you’ve still got one chance left. Nineteen feet away from you, way up on the wall, is a small red button that opens the garage door. Within your reach is a toy bow and arrow from when you were a kid. You have only one arm free. If you can pull the bow with your teeth and shoot the arrow at that button, the door will open and some of the boxes will tumble out, lessening the weight above you and opening the door to the rubble so someone might poke his nose in to see what happened.

There’s more to it, so go see.