Bunny Mcintosh must be studying my playbook. She distills the very best techniques for having a fabulous time into one convenient article, Sexoholism 101: Your Guide to Getting Action At An Athens New Year’s Eve Dance Party

After you’ve preemptively squared away your work situation, you’re going to need to decide what to wear. Gentlemen, go ahead and bust out your gayest outfit. If you dress like David Bowie, you’re going to come off as less threatening, awkward, fumbling and desperate than you actually are.

Ladies, wear whatever you want. Pretty much girls look hot dancing around in whatever, and drunk girls even look cute in jean shorts. On the other hand, there is always some skank running around dressed like a Vegas showgirl, and that skank might as well be you. Whatever makes you comfortable.

(Link via Screenhead)

I did not myself go out last night. My body, taking seriously the thought that I’d already consumed my allotment of alcohol for 2004, preemptively made me feel punky, wiping out all plans for constructive and destructive activities for the day and night. I awoke this morning feeling fine.

Which means I start 2005 with not only a positive attitude but also a stable stomach and clear head — such an exciting change of pace. Look for this year to be one of great triumphs.