Feline trouble

I try not to write much about my cats, because I fear seeming like the crazy cat lady. But I’m going to make an exception today to share with you the Crazy Cat Lady Action Figure. (Link via Screenhead.)

What pleases me most about this figure is that she is clearly not at all like me:

  • She has six or eight cats (there seems to be one hiding underneath her hair and another in her pocket) — I have only two. Although they do seem to shed, eat, and poop enough for six.
  • She’s wearing a bathrobe and checked pajamas — I putter around my house in worn-out yoga clothes and oversized men’s shirts.
  • She has nasty green flowered wallpaper and green carpeting — I have painted walls in fun 50s-era shades and Flor carpet tiles. The carpet tiles are frequently covered with cat hair, but at least they’re not hideous green.
  • Some of the shelves in her bookcases are empty — every bookshelf in my house is full to the brim, many with books stacked two levels deep and piled on top.

It’s true that, as of about a month ago, I do have brightly bleached hair in almost the same shade as the Crazy Cat Lady. But I never wear headbands. They squeeze my scalp. So, clearly I’m not at immediate risk of Crazy Cat Ladydom.

Still, constant vigilance is needed. This morning I got a newsletter from Animal Friends, a terrific shelter in Pittsburgh, and was severely tempted by the photos of lonely kitties and doggies, all needing homes. I resisted — one day at a time, easy does it, you’re only as sick as your secrets.

The area of cat ownership that causes me stress is cleaning up after the little buggers. One of my cats seems to have acid reflux, because she frequently throws up shortly after eating. Fortunately, I discovered InterfaceFlor carpet tiles, which I can pick up and wash in the sink as needed. So that problem isn’t too troubling.

But the incessant shedding brings me down. There’s cat hair everywhere, in every nook and cranny of the house, and it just keeps coming. Now Christine has pointed me to the solution I’ve so needed: a Dyson vacuum. I’m drawn irresistably to the DC07 animal model, with its mini turbo tool for removing pet hair from furniture and stairs and its “approved for allergy sufferers” certification. Plus it seems to come in a kicky purple shade.

If I had that vacuum, I bet I could have five or six cats and still keep up with the shedding.

Incidentally, I suspect that someone at Stupid.com isn’t a fan of cats, as they also sell the Cat-A-Pult. Note that it flings tiny plastic cats, not full-size living kitties. It looks like it might be the right size to throw the Craxy Cat Lady’s brood.

UPDATE: Whoops, I need to include this in such a mega-cat post: the CityKitty Cat Potty Training Seat. In case you really liked the cat-on-the-toilet scenes in Meet the Parents.