Lucky pants / unlucky pants

How many pairs of lucky pants does Kessler own?

How many pairs of unlucky pants does Kessler own?

Is this bad?
Most definitely. There are days when a certain something extra is required of us and on those certain something extra days we are accustomed to reaching into the closet and finding (on an extra-special hanger perhaps?) a pair of lucky pants. But not Kessler. Kessler has no lucky pants. I repeat: Kessler has no lucky pants.

How unlucky are these pants?
1 pair of khaki slacks: Very unlucky.
1 pair of navy blue trousers: Very unlucky.
3 pairs of blue denim jeans (baggy, loose, and boot cut, respectively): Moderate to seriously unlucky.
1 pair of black mesh sweatpants: Way unlucky.
1 pair of green corduroys: Mildly unlucky.
1 pair of camouflage pants: Vaguely unlucky.
1 pair of U.S. Navy dress white bell-bottoms: Mondo, off-the-charts unlucky.

Excerpt: Jim Ruland: Kessler Has No Lucky Pants – short story

I was reminded suddenly today of this short story by Jim Ruland. It’s one of my favorite stories of all time, one that jumps up in my mind often — perhaps because luck seems to me a big part of life.

And/or because every day I see a lot of people wearing pants.

I am, in fact, myself currently in the market for new pants. Sparing you the sordid details, I have been down to two pants of pants for some time, and as of Thursday am down to just one, with the other on the way out as well.

But a good pair of pants is hard to find. They are more difficult to fit than skirts are (although less difficult than dresses, which must fit shoulders and waist and hips and bust plus get torso length correct — there’s a reason the wrap dress is a wonder in the world of attire, and the reason is that it’s so adjustable in four of these dimensions). I also am personally equipped with legs that are just a little longer than average yet just a little shorter than what the fashion industry considers “long.” This means I am forced to choose my shoes for heel height to match my pants, and then match top to both, plus maybe a belt. Don’t forget they all have to be suited (ha ha) to the activities I’ll encounter in a day.

Factor in the potential luckiness or unluckiness of my pants themselves, and it’s a wonder I can get dressed at all.