What did we do to deserve this?



IMG_0556, originally uploaded by cynthiacloskey.

Last Friday I took all three of my cats to the vet. They were not pleased, but they handled it better than I might have expected. Here you see them awaiting their fates in the exam room.

All three received compliments from the vet and assistants for their lovely soft coats — I don’t do anything special to groom them or encourage softness, to all credit must go to Purina One cat kibble (SmartBlend Salmon & Tuna flavor, because cats need their Omega-3 vitamins too).

Football, I can’t quit you

During the NFL’s regular season this year, I didn’t watch football. I’d read about how concussions were affecting players after they left the game (in The New Yorker, The New York Times, and elsewhere), and I found it hard to enjoy watching knowing that some players on the field would have serious health problems in a few years because of the sport.

Kathy Newman today posted an excellent summary of the reality of playing in the NFL as part of a post on football and the working class:

Do all NFL players make millions of dollars for years upon end?  The statistics might surprise you.  The average NFL career lasts 3 seasons, due to the high rate of brain and leg injuries.  The median salary in the NFL in 2009 was $770,000.  While that might seem like a ton-o-cash, factor in a 35% tax rate, and 6% to the agent.  Now factor in a college education that was not completed or which was poorly attended to.  And this:  78% of all NFL players are bankrupt within two years of the leaving the league.

So this Sunday, whether you are munching on Polish sausage or pierogies, chew on this.  78% of the men suited up in black and green and gold will be bankrupt in the next 5-10 years.  They will be replaced by younger models, who will be encouraged to play even more aggressively, while at the same time threatened with fines totaling in the hundreds of thousands when they do.  They will be coming out of college earlier, with less schooling, and less guidance about what to do with their money during the brief period of time in which it is flowing.  It seems too outrageous to be true, but those of us watching our storied teams do epic battle this Sunday, whether we be plumbers or professors, likely face a more secure economic future than the chiseled, wild-haired, hard-hitting football players that so beautifully represent out Rust Belt pride.

My football boycott started well. I did fine not watching football during the regular season; I particularly enjoyed having Sunday afternoons free.

But once the Steelers made it to the playoffs, abstaining from football became much harder. Now that they’re in the Super Bowl, it’s nigh on impossible to avoid being sucked into the excitement. It’s like a holiday: Stores and restaurants in western PA are closing at 4 or 5pm so employees can watch the game. Terrible Towels are everywhere; everyone seems to be wearing black and gold. I saw a school bus yesterday with “Go Steelers” written in the dirt on a back window.

So I’m heading to my parents’ house tonight to watch the game. And at the same time, I hope the NFL will address the problems that concussions and other injuries create for players.

Every day

Pu-erh tea on 365 Project

I started a 365project account to take and post a photo every day for a year. I’d like to be more visual and creative in life, and it seems the way to do that is simply to start.

The above photo is a cup of Blood Orange Puerh Tea, which is the most delicious tea I’ve ever had. Sweet, spicy, rich. I steep it for a very long time, and so it looks like coffee, and the feel is also like coffee. But the taste is more citrus and spice. This tea I have comes from Samovar Tea Lounge.

Give all the toys to the little rich boys

I’ve never been great at gift giving.*

Some years back, one of my sisters read a book, The Five Love Languages, which boiled down the ways people like to give and receive love into five “languages.” A person tends to be able to perceive love through one of these styles, and to give via one (although not by any means necessarily the same style).

Here are the “languages” (as I remember them):

  • Talk (saying sweet things to the other, compliments)
  • Spending time together (aka attention), doing things together
  • Gifts
  • Doing something for another
  • Touch

Thus: I might like to be told how wonderful/beautiful/amazing I am, but when I want to show someone that I appreciate them I could instead think the right thing to do is to give them a big hug.

So here’s the thing: I myself am big on the “spending time together” kind of love, and I’m really NOT into any of the other style. If you can find time to have lunch with me, I understand that you care about me. And if I can wrestle myself out of my hermetic hovel to share a meal or a drink with you, you should know that you are special to me.

(Let’s remember though that if I don’t attend your event, it doesn’t mean I don’t love you. I very well may think you rock socks. It might mean that I had a last-minute panic attack and needed to spend the evening sorting my actual socks. Please know that I stayed at home in panicky terror while feeling full of love for you.)

But so. Telling me that I’m terrific: not much effect. Giving me Tiffany earrings? I’m likely to rattle off a diatribe about blood diamonds. Shovel my snowy sidewalk? That I decidedly will appreciate, but I’ll view it as a debt and make plans to shovel yours in an upcoming blizzard. Give me a hug? I will hug back as best I can, and I will feel really, really awkward in the process.

Anyway. The Kinks’ classic holiday song “Father Christmas” always has held a special meaning for me. Yeah, give those gifts to the little rich kids. Give the money to the other kids who need it. But if you want to give me something, c’mon and let’s grab a coffee and chat.

* Can we please stop using “gift” as a verb? Where did this usage come from? Every time you “gift” something to someone, a tiny kitteh chokes on holiday ribbons.